Humor in the UR

Thanks to Donald Foster for his 'Visit to Opa-Locka' (UCO Reporter page A23) best laugh this week. More, more, maybe a trip to Apopka.

I Was Scammed

Who me! Mrs Careful! I received a letter from Social Security saying I had opened a new online account (while I was far away at a wedding). I called Social Security (made it thru the menus from hell) they removed a false new address and noted the attempt to change the deposit bank. Fortunately they have a 30-day hold on bank changes so it had not gone thru. Now I also need to flag my account with credit report companies.

Woman shoots man at Century Village; victim’s condition unknown

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/man-rushed-to-hospital-after-woman-shoots-him-at-c/nhW67/

Rhubarb Pie and Blackberry Pie

http://www.northshoreseniorcenter.org/  Hi, I am about as far away north west as you can be in the contiguous USA. This is a vigorous senior center, lots of activities. Fitness Ctr and some things similar to CV plus more hands-on gardening, gift shop, and I like the Coffee Bar and the world famous “Pie Ladies” homemade pies, pineapple upside down cake, cinnamon rolls, coffee and tea! 

JAILHOUSE ROCK AT 127

When I arrived at my son Tim's in Stoughton, MA where I have been staying for the past six weeks (street address 127 Everett Circle), I discovered the family now has three small dogs. One is a purebred Boston Terrier (what else in this suburb of Boston?); the other two are mongrels. They are well behaved and not really underfoot except once in a while when with their pent-up energy they get dashing about play fighting with each other. Following is the poem I made up about them. I could have titled it "Three Dog Day," I guess.

(You said to put stuff on your blog, Elaine.......)

JAILHOUSE ROCK AT 127

There are three little dogs who live at 127.

When they get real frisky, why, it ain’t exactly heaven.

Their names are Zoey, Dixie, and Knox,

And they always have an eye out for a pair of socks,

Or a sandal on the floor—that is really hard to beat;

For chewing on a sandal is a very special treat.

                                    It is hard to believe the hustle and bustle,

As each one tries the others to outmuscle.

A struggle will ensue as they chomp and chew,

Until you think you’re at the Cincinnati zoo.

From the kitchen to the hall, upon the sofa if they dare,

Their antics are quite frantic when the three are on a tear.

When you hear them growl and occasionally howl,

You are wise without a doubt to give a warning shout,

“Hey, the three musketeers are out and about!”

At 127 with Zoey, Dixie and Knox,

It is certainly true that the jailhouse rocks!

BLOG WARS AND GUESSWORK

Who is “Eduardo,” and who is ghostwriting for Dave Israel? It’s interesting, the sheer guesswork that goes on in our opposing blogs.

I’m reminded of the “Who is John Galt?” question from the book Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. At least in the end of that book there turned out to be a real John Galt. In our case many of the alleged realities are not realities at all. Sometimes they are more a “testing of the waters.” Sometimes they are simply wild fantasies or figments of the imagination, with one common purpose: denigrating the opposition in the eyes of the reader.

We get caught up in all this for sure. A certain someone just loves to come out with a whole new screed every day. “See me, see me!” the post fairly screams.

These are the days of the Blog Wars in Century Village. I wonder if the era will pass. I suppose it will.

Chevrolet knows we need WiFi

Click  http://www.chevrolet.com/culture/article/4g-lte.html 
Internet in your car? It’s here. Chevrolet is leading the way with the most vehicles in its line up offering the available built-in OnStar 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot, allowing drivers the ability to seamlessly connect their smart devices and vehicles to the Internet.  

Lobster rolls done right.

This one's on a foot-long, toasted, buttered hot dog roll and filled with a generous amount of fresh meat, juicy and salty. No mayo here since it's the warm, saute butter Connecticut style. (Carmine pay attention)

Maine-style rolls have a light swipe of mayo.

Happy Grandparents Day

I remember a time when my dad used to roll me down the hill in his old tires..

...Those were good years.

Idling is different now - Turn it off!

When I learned to drive, I was told it was more wasteful to turn off a vehicle and restart it than it was to leave it idling for a few minutes. I'm afraid I'm showing my age because thanks to efficient electric ignitions in today's vehicles, idling a car for just 10 seconds burns more fuel than restarting it. The facts are simple, and the solution is elegant! If your carpool is not into saving 40,000 tons of CO2, maybe they'd be into saving up to a couple hundred bucks a year in gas money. http://iturnitoff.com/ 

http://iturnitoff.com/#/the-issue

Joan, one of a kind

81 Years of wonderful spirit, viciously funny, 
gonna miss the zingers.

Jury Duty Scams

Beware of Jury Duty Scams An old scam, commonly known as the Jury Duty Scam, has been recirculating around Florida recently and has already defrauded consumers of thousands of dollars. Any caller asking for personal information should automatically be a red flag as potential fraud. Follow these tips to avoid becoming a victim. How The Scam Works Consumers receive a phone call from an individual identifying themselves as an officer of the court. The "officer" says that an arrest warrant has been issued for failure to appear for jury duty. They state that in order to resolve the issue, information for "verification purposes" is needed. This information may include your date of birth, Social Security number and even a credit card number to pay the fine. Other instances include the scammer asking for payment of a fee, typically through a prepaid debit card or a Green Dot Money Pack card, to settle the outstanding warrant. Some consumers fall victim to this fraud and before they realized what happened, the scammer opens new accounts and credit cards and is able to access personal banking and financial information. Avoid Becoming Victim Court workers never request payments from jurors over the telephone, nor do they ask for personal information, such as Social Security or credit card numbers. If a consumer is unable to fulfill jury duty, they are typically asked to provide an explanation or directed to appear in court. Never give out personal information when answering an unsolicited phone call. If a consumer is contacted by someone requesting payments for failing to report for jury duty, hang up the phone, it's a scam. Anyone receiving this type of call should immediately contact the local law enforcement agency and the clerk's office at the nearest district court to notify them of this scam. The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services is the state's clearinghouse for consumer information, protection and complaints. For additional information, contact the department's Consumer Assistance Center at  www.800helpfla.com or call 1-800-HELP-FLA (435-7352) or 1-800-FL-AYUDA (352-9832) en Español.

Cleaned Up

Northampton R & S, thanks for removing those trashy, offensive, and misleading signs. I think condo sales will improve in the NW corner of CV now.

Humana Health & Well Being Assessment Market Research

This is an actual program from Humana but online there are many complaints that their phone calls sound like a scam. It would be better if they gave the patient the following info, rather than nagging phone calls. 

http://www.agentpipeline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/In-Home-Health-Well-Being-Program-Assessment-FAQs-AP-503.pdf

They send medical personnel to your home and ask about 90 minutes of their questions and fill in their forms. The result for me is that there are 3 sets of the same info on myself, with my Dr, with Humana, and this assessment. Their focus seems to be Big Business medications, vaccines, and cancer mammograms. Since these were not my concerns, and my questions were met with 'see your Dr.', I did not get much out of this, I hope Humana did.

This would be a great opportunity for Humana to talk about diet, junk food, pesticides, GMOs, hormones in food, but they do not. Nutrition - zip.

I tried their phone number for comments, so far 4 biz days - zip.