Aging.1

Common sense is not a gift.  It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it.

I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing.  Retraced my steps.  Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what's going on.

If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it".  That way people will think you're bilingual instead of clueless.

I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. . . . I forgot where I was going with this.

Having plans sounds like a good idea - until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older.  This is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter.  I don't know how to operate a helicopter either.

It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing.  Dancing leads to slipping, - and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember, don't sing!

I see people my age mountain climbing.  I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story anyway.