My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
I thought growing older would take longer.
My bucket list: keep breathing.
Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough".
Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!
Retirement to-do list: Wake up. - I Nailed it!
People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom-highlights.
Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.
I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.
One minute you're young and fun. Next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.
I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.
Some people are like clouds. Once they disappear, it's a beautiful day.
Some people you're glad to see coming; some people you're glad to see going.
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